I Wish I Could Tell You

Give him points for persistence: Alice Cooper just won't quit. He's seen it all from the bottom to the top – and done the trip more than once – but still continues on his merry-morbid way, punching out albums like a spry young'un. The first thing one has to say about The Eyes of Alice Cooper is thank Jehovah and all his witnesses that the Mascara'd One has grown out of his metal/industrial phase. That look just never took. Discs like Brutal Planet (2000) and the somewhat better Dragontown (2001) offered little to his legacy or his legion of fans – aside from nascent headbangers discovering the Coop for the first time. Eyes harks back to Alice's overly maligned early-'80s discs Special Forces and Flush the Fashion – albums that suffered by comparison with his landmark '70s releases but remain far more musically appealing than the aforementioned new-millennium fare.