Too Close to Me

Much like the self-titled debut from Luther Vandross's first group Luther, This Close to You is a respectable if somewhat anodyne slab of pre-disco soul. To be sure, This Close to You is a fine album, but it lacks many of the standout numbers of Luther and leans far too heavily on ballads and mid tempo grooves that aren't funky enough to dance to or slow enough to romance to. While this may seem ironic given Vandross's future reputation as a chart-demolishing balladeer, it results in This Close to You having a bit of an overpolished feel. Kicking off strong with a bombastic strings-and-all showcase for Vandross's voice ("This Is For Real"), the record soon begins to feel a bit repetitive without any of the chunky funk of Luther numbers like "Funky Music (Is A Part of Me)" or "Emotion Eyes" to provide contrast and dynamics. Of course, the performances here are top-notch. Whether the background vocals of the other singers in Luther (who get a bit more mic time here than they did on Luther) or the studio pros like Nile Rodgers, Cornell Dupree, Dennis Davis, and Nathaniel Adderley Jr. (who would go on to be Vandross's music director throughout the rest of his career), every musician here is operating a standard befitting a singer as strong as Vandross. Unfortunately, the material itself isn't quite as robust, and while it's not nearly as bad as its reputation would make it seem (after all, Vandross bought the rights to the Luther albums and kept them from being reissued while he was alive), it's definitely the more unremarkable of the two albums the group released. © Jason Ferguson

After twenty-six years, my husband just dumped me for the Neighborhood Watch captain, a woman the size of a Winnebago. Oh, and then he squanders all of our savings and investments. Normally, I wouldhandle this with a week at a spa I can't afford, but the Save Angie Crisis Intervention Team (aka my best friends) insists that instead I need one night of hot, wanton, emotionally uncomplicated sex. A one-night stand. Who knew?

If only moving on were so simple. Then I wouldn't suddenly be this close to becoming Sacramento's latest scandal, ruining my son's career, and wetting my pants in this rented G.I. Joe costume I'm wearing (thereby forfeiting my deposit).